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My first surgery
black and white
pezika
hello journal. Its been a while hasn't it?
Yesterday April 28th I got my gall bladder removed. It was the first surgery I ever had.
I got to the hostpitel and they took me right away, which shocked me because usually with all these doctors i've had to wait and wait and wait!
They took me back to the pre operation room, and I sat in this rocking chair that was comfy. I had to wear these stockings so i didn't get blood clots and cute little footie things. I wanted to keep them but they didn't let me haha.
So I got the IV in me there, and it took like 3 times and hurt really bad but I tried to be strong. I kept saying sorry to the lady because I didn't want to make her feel bad. Once the IV was in they made me take out my contacts and walked me to the operation room. It was really surreal, it was like those super bright lights and all kinds of doctors everywhere. They had me lay down and put really warm blankets on me. The last thing I remember was my hand feeling like it was broken because it hurt so bad when they put the meds in me.

I woke up in the recovery room and i heard my heart monitor just going crazy, my heart beaat was at 170 and I was still kinda drugged but I was aware of everything. I was in so much pain, the most pain i've ever felt. I felt bad but i was screaming and crying and freaking out because it hurt so bad, i kept saying sorry to everyone for being so loud though which made them giggle a little. They kept giving me drugs but they wern't working. They said i had an extremely low tolerance to pain (or that my stomach is just extremely sensetiive) and a very high tolerance to drugs. They gave me 3 rounds of stuff thats like morphine i think, and then another round of soemthing stronger, and nothing was working. and then all the sudden I don't remember but the guy gave me a shot in my hip and it made me sleep for a while. I thought I was going to die though because i saw a white light.
Then I heard the most sweet voice and felt the most sweet touch of nickoli :0) I guess i was crying and yelling in pain and the nurses were trying to help. but Nick just asked if he could go and help and they finally let him in, and when he did my heart beat went to normal and all i was doing was smiling cause he was there. I don't remember alot of this, but thats what my mom told me. I also had to have enough meds to knock out a horse! can you believe that??

So I was moved to extenseive care and there i layed in a bed and Nickoli brought me flowers and chocolate and ice cream, he is so my man! he knows me so well. He got me some rice and fed me for a while. I guess i was trying to be sexy and told him all drugged up that i was naked under my gown hahaha and i had like oxygen tubes in my nose and stuff. My IV was all like bloody and gross too. So my mom had gone to dinner so it was just me and him for a while, he took such good care of me. I had to pee really bad though but couldn't move so i had a bed pan but that didn't work, and i trid the toliet but i couldn;t go from all the narcodicks. So I had to have a cathiter which HURT really bad but it felt good to get that pee out!
So I was in extenseive care till about 11:00 at night, so i was there for 9 hours. I almost had to stay over night but they let me go which made me really happy. So I didn't do well at all at first, but I think for the most part I was strong. Expesally because one of my biggest fears is needles and doctors.
I have to take these shots though in my belly which hurt really bad, but other than that, vikaden is helping.
This morning when I woke up though i was in a lot of pain like when I first woke up after surgery. but i took some vikaden and its helping a little, enough to sit here and type. Nickoli called me a little bit ago which gave me the energy to move around :0)

I saw photos of my gall bladder, and it was nasty! Where it was removed there was all this like black stuff. My doctor said it was alot worse than he expected and im really lucky i got it out when I did. I can't wait to recover completly and feel better. Even though im super sore, my actual stomach doesn't hurt anymore and my bowls feel so good! Thats a first in the last 10 years. Its amazing. I can't express how lucky I feel to be able to be healthy again!!!!! This whole thing has taught me so much. I don't think I could ever be angry or sad again.

Well so thats my story, i'll keep ya updated on how im doing :0)

Love
Jess

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Glad to have you back. You were always really sensitive but also so mentally healthy. I guess its sort of a wisdom you've always had that keeps you being Jess.

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